Would the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up?

I think secretly, somewhere in my past between Transformers and Transformation, I really wanted to be a rapper. Although no groove to save my ever-lovin blue suede shoes and no rhythm to bust a rhyme with, I still think I had the dream. If Vanilla Ice could do it, why couldn't I? To boot, I already had the stand up hair and racing stripes to go along with my collosally cool sixth grade attitude.
The first two CD's that I could call my own were acquired in the sixth grade, following of course, my first possession of a CD player. The two I touted proudly from that Sam Goody of yesteryear were Wreck's-N-Effects "Rump Shaker" and U2's "Achtung Baby." I'll let you guess which one made it past the first fifteen minutes. You know, you really can move in "mysterious ways" when you "shake your rump!" I'm not sure about you, but all I wanna do is zoom-a zoom zoom zoom...and you kids were duped into thinking that Nissan came up with that one first...oh the horror.